FAD OR FAITH PREFACE

                       FAD OR FAITH

PREFACE

                                               Worry is one state of  mind which all of us, without exception, experience. There has been no individual on this earth, who has been blessed with total freedom from worry. Some encounter it  occasionally, some frequently and some constantly, With the  last mentioned class, it becomes a habit. Wrinkled forehead, raised eye-brows, long face and irregular and deep breath mark their presence and countenance. In fact, they and others too will have to worry if they have nothing to worry about, till they find something to worry over, Leaving these apart, we are more concerned with the other two, viz. the occasional worriers and the frequent worriers. Worry, if it lasts too  long on any subject, numbs the brain considerably. Unless counteracted, this has a tendency to snow-ball and leads to abnormal behavior, lack of discretion, loss of temper, poise, equanimity  and so on and so forth.  These, in turn, have adverse effect on the physique. It is not necessary to dilate on these as they are well known. What is more  important is how to counteract the causes  of worry so that we get into a state of worry as rarely as possible and when we do get into it, how to get out of quickly and to reduce its impact on the physique and mind.   This leads us to the favourite topic  of the day  among management experts Viz.    “Stress management”. I want to touch upon this subject only tangentially, dealing with one part of one of several aspects.

                                                I have been in stressful situations quite frequently.  There are certain conditions which reduce the incidence of stress in an individual, like adequate financial and physical strength, support of friends and relatives, in relation to the nature and magnitude of responsibilities devolving upon one. In any case, talking in the absolute sense, I can never say that I was deprived of these. But the occurrence of events and problems had a knack of bunching and therefore worry did occur often. But the abstract force of Faith in God did miracles in the past. I am experiencing the phenomenon at present and I am sure I shall have evidence of the Protecting Hand of God ever and ever.

                                                As a matter of habit, I have developed the art of converting worry into activity. Sometimes it is playing on the mridangam, sometimes it is writing or reading and sometimes I try to pray or get involved in domestic work. It is not easy in the initial stages to divert the mind from current worry into any other activity. But by persistent effort for about ten to fifteen minutes, the mind gets into the activity and soon the worry is forgotten or a solution to eliminate the cause of worry, takes shape. 

                                                 In July 1988, I had a problem. By the time its possible effects were fully visualised, it was past 10 p.m. I had to wait till day break to do anything about it.  I was restless. I took out my type-writer and started typing on a topic which came to my mind at that moment and captioned it ‘FAD OR FAITH’.  I started recapitulating my visits to some temples. After I typed one page haltingly, I found all my visits to Tirupathi coming out clearly in my mind. I went on typing.  As this was interesting, the language, I felt,  was also flowing without difficulty. I realized one fact, viz. that I was finding enough to praise the Lord of the Seven Hills for the regal treatment at the temple on each of my visits, which in turn were in fulfilment of some vow or other taken in times of distress, in response to which, God’s unseen hand supported me   I typed almost throughout the night.

   In the morning, I set about to solve my problem. It turned out to be much more simple than what I had feared and was solved soon.

                             This led me to another line of thought. When we read or recite our puraanas and ithihaasas, we actually refer to the instances of the Supreme Power rushing to the help of devotees in distress, like the episodes of Gajendramoksham,  Droupadi in her sorry predicament, when confronted by  Durvaasa and later by Dussaasana, or when Maarkandeya was threatened by Yama’s emissaries or when the Asuraas like Makhishaasura tormented Devas. We are in fact, praising the Supreme Being appearing in one incarnation or other, for helping out the needy and distressed persons. Is it not the same when we recapitulate how the same power in the form of Sree Venkatachalapathy or Guruvaayoorappan or Karumaariamman helped us to get over our difficulties?  Therefore such recapitulation should give us the same feeling of strength to cope with our current and future problems.  In addition, it will also give us an opportunity to express our gratitude to the Almighty for all the help and will also purify our minds.

                                 Once this idea took roots in my mind, I decided to continue the narration and cover all my visits for various purposes, especially to offer prayers to the Almighty who helped me to get over difficulties and crises time and again in my life. My Faith in the Almighty grows and acts as a sheet anchor to protect me from worries. So, here are the specific instances which I can recollect.   

                                                                
   FAD OR FAITH – PART I                                  

                    I do not remember when exactly it started or who originated it in   me, but ever since I attained the capacity to notice and remember things and events, it has been in me. And, what is more, it has been growing tremendously. Not just as an illusion, but as curiously consistent coincidences, quite frequent and dependable in the removal of obstacles and amelioration of hardships – be they physical, financial or mental. That may be the reason why stress in the real sense has never adversely affected me, because at the back of my mind there is always an assurance that some power in whom I have reposed immense  faith will come to my aid and help me to do the right thing at the appropriate time.    Let me  tell you here that I too have passed through the worst times over the last four score years unless God decides that something worse than the worst so far is yet to come. So, please do not think that stress has not affected me because there were no stressful situations.   Perhaps I should now start giving   specific details rather than indulging in hazy generalizations.

                                 It was in October 1957 that I had gone to Perinkulam village in Palakkad district, my native place, on a short leave for my nephew’s first birthday which was to be celebrated at Guruvaayoor.  I had recovered from “Kalazaar” about three months back after protracted  treatment. I developed high fever the day prior to departure for Guruvaayoor. The local physician advised me not to proceed to Guruvaayoor, but return to Madras, as this could be a relapse of Kalazaar. I could not visit the famous and our favourite deity, Lord Krishna at Guruvaayoor. Just before leaving for Madras, my grandmother came to me with a piece of cloth in which she had tied a one rupee coin and told me “In our family, you are number one in religious practices and faith in God. I am taking a vow on your behalf that very soon you will visit Guruvaayoor in good health and offer prayers to Sree Krishna. May the God see that your fever subsides immediately.’  This was in the afternoon. My brother-in-law accompanied me to Madras. We boarded the train and soon thereafter, I took a cup of milk and slept off. When I woke up in the morning, the temperature was sub-normal, although for the  previous  six days, the thermometer had been steadily showing  103 degrees or more in spite of medication.  I Started attending office from next day.  Next year, I went to Guruvaayoor alone, had my bath in the temple tank, did all my chanting of religious texts sitting in the Namaskaaramandapam, had my food in the temple and returned without any problem to Madras.                       

               The next episode which I could recollect happened in October, 1961. I have never been one who can boast of a good, strong digestive system. Stomach problems have been common and excruciating pain used to be experienced immediately after meals. I was hesitant to accept touring assignments. In October 1961, I had to go on tour to assist one of our officers in the inspection of two banks, one in a place called Kovilpatty and another in Srirangam, the famous temple town in Tiruchirapally, Tamil nad. On the very first occasion when I took outside food, I doubled up holding  my stomach. I was sweating profusely. My companion became panicky. When I explained my problem to him and the protracted treatment I had taken, he suggested that I should visit the famous shrine of Sri Venkateswara (Baalaaji) at Tirupathi at least once.  At that time,I did not have a good impression of this pilgrimage centre. I had heard that one should stand in  queue for a long time and should also spend a lot of money to get a glimpse of the Presiding deity.  I compared it with the visit to our Sree Krishna temple of Guruvaayoor in Kerala.  In those days, we could walk in and have a very good and satisfying darsanam of the deity, though, of course, we had to observe certain etiquettes like gents having no upper cloth, cleanliness etc. My companion  persisted “ Why not go to Tirupathy If the visit could be as easy as going to any other temple? “   I told him that I would not mind  doing so.

Somehow the idea got firmly rooted  in my mind .After some time, I started putting some  coins and notes into a  small box for expenditure on visits to temples, although it was not specifically for Tirupathy. I had also casually mentioned the incident to my friend Mr.P.C.Gopalan, a frequent visitor to Tirupathi. I used to read our scriptures like Raamaayanam,  SreemadBhaagavatham , Devi Maahaathmyam, Naaraayaneeyam and some puraanams as a “Paaraayanam” daily.  In 1964, I was doing a Saptha-sarga paaraayanam of Sundarakaandam  of Vaalmeeki Raamaayanam.  Around mid-day one Tuesday, Mr.Gopalan called me up at the office to say that he was to visit Tirupathy the next day with two other friends and asked me whether I would like to join . Mr.Gundu Rao, his colleague would provide his Herald car, Another friend would arrange for our stay uphill and Gopalan and I could share the expenses on petrol for the car.  Work at the office was heavy and some staff in our section were on leave. It was too much to expect our chief to grant me leave for two days.  I approached him rather hesitantly, but when I mentioned that I was going to Tirupathy, he said “ Oh, visiting Baalaji (that is how the presiding deity is known in  North India), please go and have a pleasant trip.”                                                                                                   
.We left at 1.30 p m on Wednesday and after tea at Puttur, reached the temple at the hill top by about 5.30 p.m.. Our contact was Sree Rama Dikshithar, one of the chief Archakas. Within minutes after contacting him, we were inside the temple as part of the troupe of Shri Bhakthavathsalam, the then Chief Minister of Madras , who was visiting Tirupathi straight from the hospital after recovering from a fracture. We were hardly ten or twelve as the queue had been suspended to allow the Chief Minister to have a comfortable darsanam.  As it happened, Shree Jayachamaraja   Wadiyar, then Governor of Madras, had visited the temple the previous Sunday.  The deity had been decked from head to foot in diamond jewells, a decoration known as “Vaira anki seva”. This decoration had not been removed partly because of the Chief Minister’s visit and also due to the  fact that removal, accounting and safe deposit would take time.  Be it as it may, my first contact with the Presiding Deity, Lord Venkateswara  was in His magnificent and majestic attire of dazzling beauty. We were inside the temple for about twenty  to thirty minutes in silent communion with God and completely over-awed by the serene beauty. No wonder the spiritual leader who composed the Suprabhaatham used the expression “Athripthyamritharoopa” (beauty like nectar, which compels one to continue to look at it, craving for more of it). We came out of the temple and were treated to a “meal” of Chakkarai pongal, Vadai, Laddu and Dadhyodanam as Prasadam and went to the cottage for overnight stay.

Next day, we got up around 1.30 a.m. and, after bath, proceeded to the temple in our traditional pancha kaccham  to witness the Suprabhaatha Seva.  It was around 4.15 or 4.20 a.m.  The immortal Ananthasayanam iyengar  and his party rendering this soulful composition was a treat to the ears and heart.  What a ritual it was!!

After the darsanam, my friends took me around to see the various places near the temple. I was curious about the offering of tonsure as a form of worship at the temple. When I saw the place, called “kalyana Ghatta”, I had a desire to have my head tonsured. I had it done and then had a dip in the ‘Swaamipushkarani”. After one more darsanam  which one is supposed to have after tonsure, we started our return journey. On our way back, we visited, Nagalapuram, Narayanavaram and Thiruverkadu the seat of Sree Devi Karumaari Amman Temple. I shall write about this temple at length later on as it has been very close to my heart.

                  My second visit to Tirupathy varied in many ways, but  the treatment which I had uphill was essentially the same.  I had been putting some coins and small denomination notes in a box not specially as an offering to Tiruathi, but with an intention to use the money for some religious pilgrimage including visit to Tirupathy. Before my first visit to Tirupathy, I had occasion to take some coins from this box, but while taking out the money, I had just put a new gold ring presented to me at my wedding as sentimentally, we do not touch money meant for divine purposes and if at all we had to, we would put some valuable item as a pledge, to be redeemed as soon as the amount taken out is redeposited. I had put back the money taken out, but I had left the ring in the box. While going to Tirupathy for the first time , I had taken all the coins (but not the ring) from this box to offer  at the shrine.  On return from Tirupathy, I took out the ring and wore it. But within minutes, the finger swelled up.  I removed the ring and tried it again after some time, but with the same result and the phenomenon recurred every time.  So we decided that it should be deposited in the Hundi at Tirupathy Baalaaji temple.  In 1967, my wife told me that I should not postpone the visit much longer. The next Monday, I sounded a colleague who was a frequent visitor to the temple and he suggested that if we took a train or bus leaving on that Saturday,  we would reach Tirupathy town by sunset. We could immediately walk up the hill, if no conveyance was available,and have darsanam on Sunday morning and return home by that evening. No need to take leave.  We decided accordingly.  But God’s Will was otherwise.  Within a couple of hours after my discussion with my colleague, I got a call from my wife’s uncle asking whether my wife and I would oblige them by giving company during a visit to Tirupathy temple on Wednesday. He said that his daughter’s wedding had been fixed and it was his family tradition to visit the temple before any such major celebration in the family. My colleague was quite happy about this and I accepted the invitation.

          We went by car and the trip up to Tirupathy town was uneventful, except for the fan belt snapping up when we were near the town. During the wait for the replacement of the fan belt , I asked my relatives whether my earlier resolve to walk up the hill if necessary, should be taken as a vow to be performed. I was thinking of the phenomenon of my finger swelling up whenever I  wore the ring which was now to be deposited in the Hundi.  Without answering my question directly, they said that, according to their custom, their daughter, the bride to be, should walk up the hill, but as both the parents and their young boy were not physically in a position to accompany her, they had decided to take her by car and had kept a small amount wrapped in a piece of  cloth to be deposited in the Hundi as “Aparaadhakaanikkai” (atonement for not fulfilling a vow).  They earnestly requested my wife and me to give company to their daughter, whether my earlier resolution to walk. If necessary, had to be taken as a vow or not , so that she could keep up their tradition. 

Well, we started the seven miles climb around 6.30 p.m. and covered the distance at a leisurely pace in about three and half hours and enjoyed the view as it was a clear, cloudless night, with a pleasant breeze blowing.  At the cottage, we had our food and were about to retire for the night.  I casually asked them how it  would be if we were to look up at the Kalyanaghaatta  in the morning and I were to have a tonsure for myself. My wife’s uncle jumped up and said that he had taken a vow to do this as soon as the marriage of his daughter was settled. Fearing that it would look odd if he were to appear  with a clean shaven head at his daughter’s wedding to be celebrated on the 27^th March 1967, pretty close to our visit to Tirupathy, he had decided to postpone it. Since I would  be there for company at the marriage with a  tonsured head, he opted to have his head tonsured  immediately, as we were not likely to find time in the morning, Our  quest  for a barber at that time of the night was rewarded after about fifteen minutes of search. Putting full faith in Lord Baalaaji, we bowed our head before two practitioners of the art, who were operating under the influence of some powerful local “stuff”.  One was arguing a case involving Rs.7 lakhs in the High Court and the other was sullen most of the time, but muttering mild threats of physical violence to an unseen opponent. A slight increase in the tempo of their activities would have seen the end of two pious devotees from Madras. It goes to the credit of the Lord of Seven Hills that we emerged safe and sound and had a nice dip in the Pushkarini around midnight.

     Just a catnap later, we got up, had our bath and proceeded to the Pushkarini, where my wife’s aunt, her cousin (the girl to be married) and her younger brother had a dip  and proceeded to the temple in their wet garments to do the Angapradakshinam (rolling around the sanctum chanting the Lord’s name “Govinda”).  It was a moving sight and later on I experienced the pleasant sublime feeling which one gets while doing this. One surrenders oneself totally to the Lord. Contrary to the apprehensions expressed often, there is seldom fatigue or giddiness. After the three changed into dry clothes, we stood in the queue for Dharmadarsanam, the only occasion when I stood in the queue while on a visit to the temple of Sree Venkateswara. It took us a little over three hours to reach the sanctum. In the queue, I was the first in our troupe and my wife’s uncle was the last. He was in a fairly powerful post in a Government department and wielded substantial influence. As we neared the sanctum, one of the priests on duty at the sanctum exclaimed “ Sir, I have been waiting for you. I am happy you could make the trip”. I thought he was addressing my wife’s uncle. We had a happy and satisfying darsanam for almost ten minutes, though because of the milling crowd, others were allowed to be in the sanctum for less than a minute. A special Aarathi was performed.  Prasadam was given to us i.e. to me first and then to the others by the same priest after we emerged from the sanctum. I was quite happy that the visit was pleasant and I was about to praise my wife’s uncle  for the influence he commanded inside the temple, when he looked at me half admiring and half indignant and asked “ should you not have told me that you had arranged for our reception inside the temple. We could have saved the three ladies and the boy the trouble of standing in the queue for such a long time “.   I was perplexed. Then I explained to him my initial aversion when  my friend advised me in 1961,to visit this temple and  my agreeing to do so if the visit could be as simple as visit to any of the less popular temples and my friend's assurance  that it would be so if I really  had sincere devotion to the presiding deity. I deposited my ring in the hundi and took leave of the Lord. We had a pleasant journey homeward.  I desired to visit Sree Devi Karumaari amman temple on the way back and this was also achieved. My relatives said that though they had been visiting Tirupathi for several years , the trip with us was the only one when they did not have any major problem. On the contrary, they had an excellent trip and all they wanted to perform as vows could be fulfilled. Most of the time during the return journey, I was mentally praising the Lord who had lived up to His promise given through my friend way back in 1961, that every time I decided to visit the Hill, my trip would be made pleasant by His Grace.

What was my original plan for the trip when I decided to go by train to Renigunta, trek the hill immediately and return by some public transport? And what was the way in which the Lord took me to the temple and treated me inside, without any expense to me at all !!!

I shall narrate my third visit which was even more interesting.

 I had been contemplating a visit to Tirupathi for the tonsure of my first daughter’s head of hairs in 1969. We were considering several alternate dates and discounting each one of them as inconvenient. Meanwhile, the child developed rashes on the scalp and our doctor, who could not cure it with oral medicines and external applications, suggested a total tonsure as it would eliminate the chances of hair root infection. I was therefore compelled to hasten the visit. My friend Gopalan happened to meet me during the week and I told him of my problem. He said I should be ready to start at short notice as it was likely that he would visit Tirupathi at any time. He used to visit Tirupathy every month or oftener if he could complete canvassing insurance business for one lakh. We received his call one morning during Brahmothsavam at the temple. We were to start the next day.  We had prepared ourselves as best as we could. Our other friends who were frequent visitors to the temple, cautioned that the crowds would be unmanageable. Some even suggested postponement of the trip. Once decided on a religious trip, I never used to cancel it on any count. Obstacles were part of the game and it was always left to the Gods to surmount them and they responded with Grace by removing them, though how this was done has always remained a mystery to me.  

We went in Gopalan’s newly bought standard Herald car and reached Archakar Illam, the residence of priests on duty at Sree Venkateswara Temple. Duties of priests were rotated from time to time and since it was not possible for the priests on duty at the hill temple to come up from their residences down hill each time, they were given what may be termed bachelor accommodation uphill and food was also provided. This was called Archakar illam. The child’s ceremonial tonsure was arranged to be done at the illam itself and after bath, we had a very comfortable darsanam of the Lord. The employees showed the nice silk and brocade garments daily used for adorning on the deity, with reverence, to my mother and all of us. We had an unhurried round of the various places  which my mother was seeing for the first time and she admired everything , especially the chariot which was kept decorated and ready for the Lord’s Ratthha Yaathra next day. We had our meals with the Archakas, collected the prasaadams and after visiting Devi Padmaavathi  at Tirucchaanoor down hill, reached home in about three hours. In a couple of days the child was cured of all skin diseases.

 It was in mid-July 1970 that I again had an occasion to think seriously of visiting the sacred hills. I was undergoing training at our staff training college where the lecture rooms had no air conditioning at that time. I developed an absiss on my left  big toe. Residence at college hostel was compulsory and rules were strictly applied. I started running temperature and pain from the absiss was unbearable. So I used to visit my family doctor every evening and take medicines. Antibiotics did not help and my doctor, who was an excellent surgeon, decided to open the absiss.  He felt that application of local anaesthesia would not help and total anaesthesia was not warranted. So he asked me to close my eyes and grit my teeth and applied his scalpel. He drew a kidney tray-full of puss, cleaned and bandaged the wound. He asked me to visit him next day so that the remaining puss could be totally drained and gave me some antibiotics to ward off secondary infection. When I reached his clinic the next day, he found that the opening of the absiss had firmly closed.  He said the only way to open the absiss was to incise it again.  I had been without proper food for ten days and life in the hostel was too regimented to give any rest to the foot or mind. I had to walk quite a good lot during visit to an industrial estate. For two days doctor tried to persuade me to undergo another minor operation, but since I  was not confident of bearing the pain, I had been pleading with him to give me more antibiotics or injections. On the third day, he made it plain that unless I agreed to a second minor operation, I need not visit him. The next day, I visited my home en route to the doctor’s clinic intending to have the operation.  The pain was acute and fever and fatigue added to the misery. I was literally rolling on the floor. Somehow it lead me to wish that if only the absiss would subside and the illness cured without another painful operation, I would climb Tirupathy Hills on foot and  do an “Angapradakshinam”. After some rest and a cup of coffee, I reached the clinic. Doctor greeted me with a smile and said “ So, you have decided to have the operation done?” He asked his compounder to bring out the instruments duly sterilized and undid the bandage on my toe. He held it with his thumb and forefinger and was about to reach for his scalpel. I had closed my eyes and did not watch. I did not know what happened, but I heard him exclaim “what did you do to this absiss?” and immediately call for a kidney-tray. The fact was that the absiss opened without even a pressure from his hand and it was completely drained. Well, I told him about my wish to the Lord and then he said “ I am afraid when God decides to interfere, I have only a compounder’s job and he  cleaned and dressed the wound.

The circumstances under which I fulfilled the vow were again peculiar.  P.C.Ranganathan, my colleague and neighbor in our staff quarters, played a very positive and supportive role in my life from 1958 till his sudden demise in 1996. His family and children continue to be a source of strength to my even now (2018).  At the relevant time when I visited Tirupathi to fulfill my vow, PCR’s sister-in-law’s daughter was to  get married at Tiruchanoor at the foot of Tirupathi hills, where Devi Padmaavathy’s shrine is located. They had invited us and though my family could not come, I decided to  attend the marriage and in the same trip, fulfill my vow to climb Tirupathy Hills on foot and do Angapradakshinam.  I had an Ambassador car and I  offered to carry any person or  luggage for them, if necessary.  I had invited my brother, who was stationed at Arkonam, also to join us. PCR was to come with us and we were to take a number of items essential  for the ceremony.  We were to leave Madras by  about 9 a.m and reach Tiruchanoor around noon the day prior to the marriage.    My brother turned up in the morning on the day of our departure. Two things delayed our departure. One was my daughter Maathangi developing high fever the previous night and the other was the need to get a new tyre and tube fitted as the right front tyre was weak.  I had called up my family physician to see Maathangi and having waited for him till 9 a.m,  gone to the petrol bunk to have the tyre and tube fitted.  By the time I returned, doctor had seen Maathangi and left leaving the prescription and instructions as to medication and treatment. He had expressed surprise that I had the courage to go out of Madras when the child was having such a high fever. My brother dropped out because of concern for the child and his fatigue after doing night duty at his railway job, but I had to go as things absolutely necessary for the marriage were to be carried to Tiruchanoor and my firm faith that if I proceed to fulfill the vow, the Lord would take care of everything else. Around mid-day, myself, PCR and Mahendran, my car mechanic’s son, who usually accompanied me on trips around Madras, set out and reached Tiruchanoor  close on 4.30 pm. After taking some refreshments, I told my friends that I would like to leave the car near the marriage hall (known as chowltrees in those days) and walk up the hills with Mahendran.   My plan was to reach Tirumala (the hill temple) by 10 pm or earlier, have a darsanam of the deity and stay overnight at one of the temple cottages.     Early in the morning, after bath at the cottage, have a dip in the Pushkarini, perform the Angapradakshinam and, after one more darsanam, reach Tiruchanoor by 9 am, take part in the wedding and lunch and leave for Madras by 10 or latest 11 am. When I expressed this, PCR , a confirmed non-believer in rituals and poojas, insisted that he would also walk up he hills with me and visit the temple. He told me later that this decision was because he did not consider it safe to trust me to the company and care of Mahendran, while climbing the hills after dusk.  Whatever it be, the trek was very pleasant, though,  having eaten a rather belly-full meal (which we did not do), PCR was gasping and panting piteously. We were at the hill-top before 10 pm. and had a darsanam immediately as there was no queue.     Early next morning, after bath at our cottage, I had a nice dip in the Pushkarini and did the Angapradakshinam in my wet clothes and we had one more darsanam. One would not  believe the leisurely and comfortable way we moved into the temple and stood before he Lord for quite a long time that morning and the previous night. It was like walking into a friend’s house, where we were eagerly expected. There was no crowd at all.  Some said that it was because the day was a Wednesday (mid-week). But it is difficult to imagine Tirupathi temple usually thronging with pilgrims all the time, being so free. It has been my peculiar experience that whenever I had gone to any temple with PCR, darsanam of the deity would be comfortable and satisfying, though he himself never attached particular importance to this aspect. We had many such occasions as we had been on official tours as well as personal trips several times.  Probably, his innate goodness and readiness to help others are, in the eyes of the deity, much more valuable than all the rituals which the common man performs professing devotion to God.

      I arrived back at my residence at Madras, around 1.30 pm and found Maathangi happily playing about, her temperature having touched almost normal.

      1972 December 25^th  again saw me taking a trip to Tirupathi as usual under circumstances which did cause a little bit of hesitation after the trip was finalized, but ultimately saw us through.  I had bought an Ambassador 1962 model car. The deal was through a broker known to my colleague’s uncle Dr.Gopal Rao and the car was inspected by Balakrishnan, Doctor’s trusted driver and mechanic whom he had helped in many ways.  We had only three car manufacturers in India at that time – Fiat, Ambassador and Standard. Production was far below demand and advance booking had to be done with a deposit of Rs.2,000/, the lead time ranging up to two years. So people went in for used cars and each one had to have a mechanic who would check up and do the repairs from to time. Thinking of it now, one common question among car owners (except those who bought new ones and had the privilege of maintenance by the supplier) was “who is your mechanic” like one asking “who is your family doctor”. Balakrishnan inspected many vehicles for us and declared all of them as unfit.  But he approved the vehicle brought by  broker Varadachari, though there were many defects. He said the vehicle was sturdy, but required “some minor adjustments” costing perhaps a couple of hundred rupees. But by the time it was brought to my residence, I had spent more than a thousand rupees. After I learnt driving and desired to take the car to Tirupathi, Balakrishnan said that it did not have the power to climb hills and the engine needed re-boring. My friend Dr.Ramachandran, who had  practically grown up with a car at his disposal, from childhood, also told me that this was correct.  Balakrishnan’s explanation was that the car might have developed the trouble because I learnt driving  using that car.  So we did re-boring and then Balakrishnan said that differential had to be overhauled before we took a long trip. This was done by Joseph, a mechanic  trained at the manufacturer’s factory.  Balakrishnan, when he was introduced to me first, was employed by Municipal Corporation of Madras in their health department under Dr.Gopal Rao and earned a decent income.  After swindling my money for nearly two years, he was reduced to utter penury and misery and I had to help him in many ways including provision of drinking water. When I asked him how it so happened that he selected such a bad car for me, he confessed that he cheated me just for the sake of Rs.50/ which the broker gave and the chance to earn by doing repairs to the car, getting commission from auto-parts dealers  on purchases for replacements.  This is just by way of history,  but it taught me a lesson that a cheat does not care for the help given by his superior or honesty and can be lured by the pettiest of desires. My loss was in a way compensated as I got a lift in my job and emoluments, though a loss of over five thousand rupees was too much for me. But
Balakrishnan suffered and died in abject miseery. In any case this also proved that Fate would hound a sinner and hit when he is weakest and  the blow hurts most.  I had seen this happen many times to people, who indulged in malpractices and used their power to favour unscrupulous fans and trouble people who do not tow their line, both during my career and in my personal life. 

To come to the main theme, though I had  got my permanent driving license, I had not done any hill climbing and Tirupathi hills had only one road for traffic up and down hill. There were 13 hair-pin bends. I knew that Joseph was unemployed and would do odd jobs. He was also an expert driver. So I thought of engaging him for the trip. He was reluctant to go out of town sacrificing the merriment of a happy Christmas with his friends, but he later agreed. At the last minute I came to know that he did not have a driving license. I did not wish to take a risk with our trip through two States. So I told him that I would drive and he would supervise and if necessary help me negotiate tricky stretches.  He simply said that if he had just to sit idle, he would rather not go with us but be with his friends at Madras.  This happened around 10 pm on 24th. My brother  and his family as well as my daughters Maathangi and Maithreyi, were to accompany me.We were to leave around 4.30 am next morning and I was to pick up Mr.Gopalan and Sree Rama Dikshithar, a chief Priest who was with Gopalan.  Dikshithar had to be at Tirumala next day and had my trip not been fixed, they would have gone  on 24^th. Anyway, having set everything else ready, I was not going to cancel the trip. I requested Joseph to somehow get Mahendran to come with us. Within an hour, Mahendran came and promised to be at my place by 4 am next day. We started on our trip as scheduled and it was quite pleasant up to the first hairpin bend. I got my first jolt at this point.  A thoroughly mannerless brute driving a fiat car crowded me to the curb and overtook me leaving me fumbling with the brake and steering and simultaneously changing  gear. In fact, for a couple of seconds, the car even started sliding back, when my brother involuntarily let out a scream. One other ‘great’ service which Balakrishnan did for me was to suppress the information that there was no handbrake and the equipment had been dummied. I knew this only when I came to this point and thereafter, our handbrake till I sold the car was a nice clean piece of granite  and Mahendran or his brother, whoever happened to accompany me for such trips was ready at hand with this when needed.

Somehow, we managed to reach the temple and park the car safely.It is our practice to start climbing this hill, whether on foot or in a vehicle, chanting loudly “Govinda” in a sing-song .  This time also we followed the same practice and the children also joined in their lisping way.  With Gopalan and Sree Dikshithar, two influential persons with us, we had a very nice darsanam. After the usual rounds of the other deities and Tiruchanoor, we returned to Tirupathi town and safely dropped Sree Dikshithar at his residence. We started on our return journey  by about 2 pm.  And our real trouble in that trip started.

 Gopalan was in a hurry to get back to Madras. He was an expert driver, but he had never driven an Ambassador. He found my driving rather slow and took over the steering from me.  Dusk was falling and cowherds  returning with their herds , were blocking the roads and impeding our progress. Impatience made Gopalan to use the horn and blinkers too frequently.  . In fact his fingers were most of the time fiddling with the light switches.May be it was ok for his trim new car. But, for my old jalopy, it was to much. I do not know what happened.  But by the time we had covered half the distance and neared the temple town of Thiruvallur, the electrical circuit was completely cut off. We were forced to go into the town and look for an  automobile electrician.   It was close to 1 a.m. when we were able to have the lights and horn in working condition. The children, after crying for some time due to heat and hunger, dozed off. It was a pathetic sight and yet it had a touch of humour too. Maithreyi had a habit of thumb-sucking and ,  even  as she was sleeping with her thumb in her mouth, she was slowly muttering “Govinda”, here head rocking from side to side.  Reminiscing on this incident, one more thing comes to my mind. It had been my practice, whenever we had to go via Thiruvallur, to enter the town and have a darsanam of Sree Veeraraghava perumaal from the road. It was a curious thing that Gopalan, who had no such sentiments, decided to skirt the town and took the by-pass. Because the electrical system failed, we were obliged to spend more than three hours at the spot from where we used to have a darsanam of the Lord’s temple – the electrician’s shop was close to the spot. Anyway, I was happy and relieved when I unloaded my passengers and prasaadams at home a little past 2 a.m. Lord Venkateswara kept his promise and we had an excellent and memorable trip’ The little mishap was only a pointer to the omission on my part in attempting to  skip the darsanam of Sree Veeraraghava perumaal, albeit from the road.

Please do not think  that I shall conclude this narrative quoting just a few illustrative episodes of the Lord’s magnanimity. I intend to record every one of the visits as vividly as I can recollect them. They are worth recording for the purpose of living all over again, those harrowing, yet purposeful, successful and overall happy phase of my life- curiously contradictory statements, but yet true because, despite all the troubles and tribulations which I had to undergo and surmount, they were leading me straight through  a series of personal experiences, towards certain realizations, perception and attitudinal changes which I found most useful as age advanced, responsibilities and relationships underwent changes and pattern of life itself varied from time to time.

I find that recollection of each visit to Tirupathi brings immense happiness to me, not only due to the general pleasure which one derives by the very sight of the Deity in all His grandeur and glory, but because every one of the visits indicated to me beyond doubt the privilege which the Lord accorded to me and each had a special characteristic of its own – a special occurrence,  a particular experience of near-catastrophe and miraculous escape or an unusual achievement. One such visit was especially important,  One Mr.Ganapathi was to go to Tiruchanoor for booking a marriage choultry for his daughter’s marriage. He was Gopalan’s close friend and he had asked Gopalan to help as  Gopalan was quite influential at Tirupathi and Tiruchanoor.  Gopalan took his Herald car with Mr.Ganapathi, myself and Brahmatheertthham Sreenivasachary joining him in the trip to Tiruchanoor and Tirupathi. He had hired a driver and we started in a very happy mood. But soon one tyre got punctured , followed soon by another. We had the tyres vulcanized and proceeded.  Unluckily, a third tyre also got punctured. There was no repair shop nearby.  We were considerably delayed  when we arrived at  the Town.  It was at the temple that the real surprise awaited us.  I do not know what happened.  
All of us  were wearing the formal Panchakacchham.  The priest inside the sanctum beckoned us to join him.  We were so close, almost touching the idol. What a beautiful sight it was that we beheld !! what splendor and what an awe-inspiring picture it was !!!. We were thrilled and felt the hair on our body rise and sending tingling sensation all over – literal ‘Romaancham’ (goosepimples).  The ceremonial Aaratthi was performed with the gold aaratthi plate and the gold ‘chataari’ was placed on our heads.    Then we went  around the temple and left for Tiruchanoor, where Gopalan’s friend, Sree M.G.Chari, helped us  to have a good darsanam at the Thaayaar Sannidhi. We finished our mission of fixing the choultry for the marriage and returned home around 8.30 p.m.

Probably my memory is somewhat confused. I think this visit was a little earlier than the one which I have recorded last, because I remember that I bought my first car soon after this visit.

               The next visit  was when Anand, my wife’s sister’s son was about  three or four . They had taken a vow that the boy’s head should be tonsured at Tirupathi Hills.  They were four i.e., the couple, the boy and my sister-in-law’s mother-in-law.  They mentioned this when they visited us. Since they had no definite plans or contacts at Tirupathi, I volunteered to take them. Thanks to Gopalan’s  influence, I decided to go with them and my daughter Maathangi, straight to Dikshithar’s residence and seek his help to have all the formalities completed.  We set off around 4 p.m one afternoon and arrived at Tirupathi town around 7 p.m  The children enjoyed the drive very much. We stayed at Dikshithar’s house overnight.   After bath next morning, we left for the hills with Dikshithar himself accompanying us. Everything went off according to schedule. The tonsuring was done at the Archaka Illam and darsanam was most satisfying . We left the sacred hills with utmost reverence and gratitude to the Lord and loads of prasaadam in our luggage boot.  When we started the climb down, I found the gear getting stuck up; I could not shift it without switching off the engine.  In those days there was only one road for traffic uphill and downhill. With 13 hairpin bends and ghat section to negotiate, without even a handbrake, I was in the worst predicament.  I did not discuss it with any of them or Dikshithar, who was by my side. I put the entire burden of taking us back to our residence on the Lord and continued the journey as no help was near at hand. In fact, part of my courage at that time was because of my ignorance of the consequences of shutting off the engine while coming downhill. Whatever it was, we reached the first hairpin bend near the bottom of the hills fairly fast . Dikshithar asked me to stop the vehicle and asked us to  get down.  He then pointed out a spot on the opposite side where the railings had been broken and loose stones lay in a heap.  He said ”that is the place where the foreign car carrying the Raja of Chettinad rolled down some weeks ago. A very good car driven by an expert driver lost balance and rolled over and crashed, but no one was injured.  The only thing was that the trip had to be abandoned and the Raja could not visit the Lord.  Remember, unless He ordains it, no one can see Him”.  I shivered visibly  He asked me “what is the matter?” There was no point in hiding the fact any longer.  I told him my predicament when we started the climb down and the tension and feeling of responsibility for the safety of seven lives inside the car which weighed me down till we reached the foot of the hills. He laughed and  asked “You realize the truth of what I said just now?”  What could I say!!! The journey after I reached the town and dropped Dikshithar at his residence, was comparatively easy.  Later, the car mechanic explained that I had practically no control over the vehicle in the condition in which it was during the return journey. I could only tell him that it was the Lord’s promise that once I decided to go to Tirupathi, He would look after me and ensure a pleasant trip and VIP treatment.  He was keeping up His promise in letter and spirit!!!

                 The next trip was around 1973 end or 1974 beginning.  Madan was gradually recovering from the problems which plagued him from his birth on 6^th November, 1972.  During this period, Maathangi  had typhoid  and we had a tough time. She also recovered and started attending school. Maithreyi had a fairly stable health except for occasional allergy or viral flue or tonsillitis, which were manageable.  It looked as though  Peace and a little brightness could be hoped for in the domestic horizon. Then Maathangi developed fever with bronchitis and severe wheezing. She was sleepless and we too were exhausted. One day, the thought that I would willingly take over the child’s suffering if only such a transfer was possible, entered my mind. All cannot be as devout as Babar, who got his son’s illness transferred to himself, through his fervent prayers. But I vowed that I would  visit Tirupathi, walk up the hills and do the “ANGAPRADAKSHINAM” if the child was cured of her disease. As a token of my pledge, I kept aside  the gold chain which I was wearing and decided to wear it only after fulfilling the vow.

               This time, my elder brother who was then at Arkonam, wanted to join me.  It was decided that I would go to Arkonam on a Wednesday (mid-week, so that the crowd at the temple would be less) and we would go together, via Tiruttani. One of my colleagues had some friends in the staff regulating the queue at Tairupathi so that in case of any difficulty, I could contact him. I had also booked a cottage uphill through my colleague. My brother was ready when I reached Arkonam around mid-day.  We boarded a bus to Tirupathi, but it turned out to be an ordinary passenger bus going via a round-about route and picking up even standing passengers. This was the first mistake during this trip.  It took us four and a half hours, partly standing to reach Tirupathi  town. By an express bus, we could have covered the distance in 2 hours.  We were really hungry and had a go at the good dishes in Bheema Lunch Home. This was the second mistake. Trying to climb the hill on full stomach can be really taxing.  Coming out of the hotel, we enquired about the route to the foot of the hill.  We did not mention that we would be walking and not motoring. This was the third mistake.  We were shown the route taken by motorists which was longer by almost three miles than the route for pedestrians. By the time we reached the foot of the hills, we were hot, fuming and exhausted. We were carrying our luggage. Added to this, my brother, a railway official,  had done night duty the previous night  and he had no rest at all. Anyway, we had to continue the climb, loudly chanting the Lord’s name “Govinda”. After about a mile, I started panting and  sweating with nausea and mild giddiness. I tried biting into a lemon, rested for some time and had a sip of soda water also. But I had no relief and it looked as though I would have to abandon the trip, after all. This was a new experience and quite contrary to the pleasant, easy climb which I had enjoyed on the earlier  trips by walk and by vehicle. All of a sudden, I remembered my vow. I had said that I would happily accept the suffering, if only Maathangi’s wheezing and breathlessness could be relieved. Obviously, the Lord had decided to give me a taste of the strain.  Now it was for me to show my sincerity in keeping my promise. Gritting my teeth and chanting the slokas on Gods which I could remember, I resumed the trek. A few minutes later, we reached a shelter, where tea was available. I opened my purse and then I noticed something which I had  missed earlier though I had taken out change from the same purse several times during the previous one hour. I had kept a few tablets of MARZINE (Warner Hindustan)  a specific remedy for travel sickness especially while climbing high altitudes, which I kept on my doctor’s advice as touring was part of my job.  I consumed one and took rest for  a short while, The rest of the journey was pleasant.  My brother wondered about the change in my spirit and mood. I explained my vow and the circumstances under which I made the commitment.

      At the temple office, we were told that a cottage was ready for us, but if we left our luggage at the office and rushed to the temple, there was a chance of our witnessing the EKAANTHA SEVA, the last ritual before  closing the temple for the night.  In those days, this was around 9 p m. We were very much in time for this darsanam, when there were hardly a dozen pilgrims inside the sanctum.  We had  a pleasant and unhurried  darsanam  and prasaadam comprising sweetened creamy milk. We repaired to the  cottage allotted to us. The weather was extremely chill as it was deep winter.   I  got up at 3.a.m,and  had my bath and proceeded to the PUSHKARANI, where I had a dozen or more dips and proceeded to the temple for the ANGAPRADAKSHINAM in wet clothes, as per custom.  At the entrance to the sanctum,  I prostrated facing the deity, where one finds the small idol of Sree Ranganaathaswaami and rolled over to the left. That was all that I remembered. The rest of the rolling over and over on the smooth, emrald  green  floor was effortless, with my eyes closed and chanting “Govinda” continuously. It was a solemn and superb  experience incapable of being captured in words.  As I had darsanam of the Lord several times earlier, my thoughts were riveted in His radiant, benign form exuding compassion and  concern for the devotees , the form which  captivates  one and creates an insatiable desire to go on gazing at it ,when one is unhappy to move away from it justifying the description ”Athripthyamritharoopaaya” in the “Mangalam” part of the Suprabhaatham.  

I changed over to dry clothes. My colleague’s friend was waiting to take us for a darsanam of the Lord.  We had a very happy darsanam for over ten minutes, collected the prasaadams and left for Arkonam. The journey back was very pleasant and we were in time for a ceremonial lunch with pudding, etc which my sister-in-law had prepared. The Lord gave me a taste of the rigours of a tough journey to test my attachment to Him and also the reward for enduring them to fulfill my vow.   

Our next visit was in December 1975.  My sister, who had come to help us as Vichu, my youngest issue was born on 24^th September, 1975,  was  with us. She had not been to Tirupathi and we decided to have Madan’s ceremonial tonsure at the Baalaaji temple, so that she could also have a darsanam of the Deity. Gopalan was to join us with Sri Parthasarathy, an Archakar at the Baalaaji temple. Unfortunately, I developed sore eyes the previous afternoon and I was certain that I could not drive all the way to Tirupathi. When I noticed the symptoms,   I requested  my mechanic Sri Shanmukham to help me out if I did not get relief from the problem next day and he agreed .  My eyes were in bad shape next morning and  after all of us got into the car, I took it to Shanmukham.  He  was busy in the garage , but he got into the car straightaway in his greasy clothes and took over.  He explained that if he went to his residence to change, his wife would ask a lot of questions and he would be delayed. On the way, Sri Parthasarathy who was an erudite scholar in Vedas and Vaishnava literature and had a melodious voice, kept us in serene mood by chanting  hymns like Sree Venkatesa Gadyam.We were at the temple by 11.30 am  or  12 noon. Shanmukham had told us that he would also like to have a darsanam of the deity. In those days, cars could be parked close to the entrance to the temple. After leaving us, at the parking lot, Shanmukham disappeared.    We waited for some time and then moved on to have Madan’s tonsure and to the temple proper. Gopalan explained all the idols in the Praakaaram of  the temple, the different savas (offerings and poojas) performed at each little shrine inside and the significance of each.  We had given up hopes of taking Shanmukham with us and  were about to enter the main shrine  when he came running ,clad in a new dhothi, shirt and upper cloth, after a good bath.  Sri Parthasarathy’s presence was a passport to the sanctum, where we spent nearly thirty minutes immersed in mute admiration of the Deity, whose benign Grace continues to keep us in shape in spite of heaps of problems hounding us all the time. Then we moved out to the other shrines and the newly constructed crystal Mantapam, We visited Tiruchaanoor as per custom and reached my residence around midnight.  Both my sister and Shanmukham (who had not visited the temple in such comfort earlier), were overwhelmed at what they saw and experienced at the divine shrine.     

                       I was transferred to Bangalore in July 1976, putting a temporary halt to my visits to Sree Baalaaji.  In  August 1979, I shifted to Mangalore as I was deputed to take over as Chief inspector of Corporation Bank,   Apart from Madan’s  illness right from birth, I had to contend with problems of two  transfers and attendant financial crunch. New place meant new schools, new sets of books, uniforms and equipments as applicable to the schools for the children.  Further, at Madras, Dr Santhanakrishnan, a very eminent paediatrician, looked after my children free of charge. Even most of the medicines were supplied from the samples received by him.      Madan’s  Thread ceremony was performed on 2^nd May 1979. After that we  visited  several places of pilgrimage. Money had been spent for all the rituals,  not in pomp and style, but without compromising on the ritual part of the ceremony and  inviting and meting out decent reception to close relations and friends. Topping all these was my mother’s  long illness needing hospitalization for a month or so, in June 1979. Though she recovered miraculously, she was never again the same, who could intelligently assist us in all our work.  As a consequence of all these, we could not even think of fulfilling our vow of a Kalyaana uthsavam for Tirupathi Baalaaji, which was taken when Madan was fighting for life in a critical condition in Children’s hospital Madras, soon after his  birth on 6^th November, 1972.  After my second term in Corporation Bank, which ended in April, 1983, I had requested for a posting in Bombay and It was granted.  Before reporting at Bombay, I availed of leave for about two months  to fulfill some of the vows taken on Madan’s behalf at various places of pilgrimage.  My colleague and friend in Corporation Bank offered to help in fulfilling the vow at Tirupathi as his relative was a well-known figure in Tirupathi and connected with the temple administration.  So it happened that our  next visit to this great temple was in 1983. Sadly for us, we could not take my mother with us.  Thanks to my friend Mr.Pattabhiraman,  the visit was a happy and memorable one.

Visits after visits had been made to the Sacred Hills for various purposes, sometimes under circumstances, which should  have deterred a person of (so called )rational thinking.  But I had the faith that my troubles would vanish once I decided to go and took the first step. Every time, it proved to be so.  The Lord came all the way to receive me with honours and comfort which even VVIPs could not have got. 

  Gopalan who took me to the temple first in 1964 and many more times thereafter, passed away in 1986. Bombay is quite far compared to madras from where I could reach Tirupathi temple in two and half hours.  These and the persisting back ache, have for the present, put a stop to my trips to the temple, however much I may yearn to visit the Lord. Who knows !! It may suddenly occur to the Lord to call me.  My youngest son has also expressed a wish to go to the Hills.  It is for the Lord to grant it.

              I propose to deal with some of the occurrences in relation to other temples and my own self which increased my faith manifold in the efficacy of prayer and surrender to God as the last refuge Hope in the goodness of people and Trust in the Almighty have sustained me so far, though some times, I have like all devotees and votaries of religious faith, questioned the Gods in their seeming apathy and lack of appreciation of my difficulties.  To most of these I have got answers, which have been more than satisfying. Ultimately one learns to perceive the play of the Divine Force and accept it as “all for the good”.

               Two more episode  come to my mind. It was customary for Gopalan to have a one-day Lakshaarcchana for Lord Sree Venkateswara on a Saturday, during the Tamil month of Purattaasi (mid-September to mid-October).  There would  be some events like devotional music, discourse or a kutcheri.   I was a regular participant at these every year.   Gopalan’s friends, two chief priests from Tirumala Sree Balaji temple and Sree Padmaavathi Temple from  Tirucchaanoor used to be present with the Thirumanjana Theerttham after the Abhishekam at the temples the previous day.  On Sunday following this, the flowers and other materials accumulated during the rituals would be gathered and immersed in the sea at marina or Mylapore beach. The place of worship would be cleaned and after punah pooja (the second pooja) and lunch, Gopalan would go to Tirupathi to drop the two chief priests and also to have a peaceful darsanam of the deities.      On a few  occasions I had accompanied Gopalan to Tirupathy.  During the  sankalpam for the Punah pooja  which I attended for the first time, Gopalan gave the gothram, nakshathram etc. of his family members and then I gave the details of our family.  It was a revelation to me that we belonged to the same Gothram, though he was a Sreevaishnava and I was a smaarttha. After me, my close friend and well-wisher, Sri Ramakrishna Iyer, disciple of Sri Palghat Mani  iyer gave his Gothram which happened to be the same. No wonder, we were together in the worship of the lord.  Ramakrishna iyer also came with us once to the Hills.  He was awe-struck at the sight of the lord and explained that though he had visited Tirupathi town many times adttending on master, who had given many performances there, he had never been to the temple of Lord Venkateswara.  Once Sri Seshadri,my old classmate had come with us.  The trips were pleasant and refreshing to the mind and body.      On one occasion which I am now going to describe,  one Mr Rajagopal had requested Gopalan to take him and his family along with him. The two chief priests had gone the previous day itself as they had pressing work at the temples. Gopalan requested me also to join. Rajagopal had bought a new Ambassador car and we set out around noon. The trip was quite pleasant and we had happy darsanam of the deities more than once. The ladies in the group did the ritual called “maavilakku” at both Tirumala and Tirucchanoor temples.  While coming back, when we were near Thiruvallur, Gopalan suddenly mentioned about the temple of Hanuman (Aanjaneya) at kaakkalur, on the Madras route.   Though we had travelled dozens of times on this route, no one had mentioned it to me, not even Gopalan. The place is between Avadi and Thiruvallur. There is an industrial estate at kaakkalur.  The temple is located hardly half a kilometer away from the highway. At the time of our visit in early 1970s, it was very small and hardly any devotees were there.  Probably very few knew about it.

   We were very much moved by the majesty of the idol, the finely chistled features and the beautiful and benign  yet dignified expression on the face. Immediately the desire to bring my mother to this temple took root in my mind.  As if by telepathy, Rajagopal’s family declared that they would like to offer some special worship at this temple and that I should join them with my family. Somehow, this slipped out of my mind; nor was there any call from Rajagopal family.

About a year later, I had to make a trip with my family to Arkonam.  My niece, her husband and child were travelling from Palakkad in kerala to Bombay by train.   The train would not touch Madras, but would take a diversion from Arkonam after a halt of two hours or so.  We wished to see them and deliver some articles which they had left at our flat on a previous visit.  My brother and family were residing at Aarkonam, which was another reason for  deciding  on the trip. Unfortunately, the train was delayed indefinitely and it did not arrive till evening.  No precise information was available at the railway station as in those days communication was not as it is now.  We reluctantly left without seeing my niece and family.  My brother joined us on the return journey as a long stretch on the highway was considered unsafe for journey  after dusk.  After passing Thiruvallur, we were nearing kaakkalur Industrial Estate, when I suddenly remembered  my resolution to take my mother to the temple of Sree kaakkalur Aanjaneyar.     We spent about half an hour enjoying the beauty of the idol and the serene atmosphere which prevailed especially as it was the time for the evening Aaratthi.

From there I took my family and my brother to Sree Vaishnavi Devi temple at Thirumullaivaayal, which was close by on the same route.  I had visited this temple with my superior Sri Vijayaraghavan, whom I have mentioned at the beginning of this narrative on Sree Venkateswara temple at Tirupathi.  Sri Vijayaraghavan had come  from our Bombay office for a short visit on official duty in 1973.  He had written to me to meet him at his hotel (Dasaprakash) and to take him to Thiruverkaadu  Sree Devi Karumaari Amman temple and to this temple of Sree Vaishnavi Devi.   I took him to both the temples one morning, starting at about  5 a.m. It was in blinding rain that we left his hotel when wipers were of no use and only instinct and faith in the Gods led me to the temple without any mishap.  We had a peaceful darsanam at Thiruverkaadu. While returning,  the rain had stopped, but we saw the damage it had caused.  Two private buses had collided head-on at a bend on the highway. At Thiruerkad, we had picked up a local person working in the Life Insurance Corporation at Madras. He gave us a brief account of the origin  of both  the temples. We were also able to meet and converse with Sri Parthasarathy swaamigal, the founder of the Vaishnavidevi temple and Aashram at Thirumullaivaayal. His transformation from the starus of the owner of Prithvi insurance Company, who led a typically western style of living to that of a sanyaasi was unique.  I shall narrate this briefly at the appropriate time.

             Later, we learnt that the train which had made us wait quite long and leave disappointed, chugged into Aarkonam station  less than half an hour after our leaving.     

             My mother was very happy about our visit to the temples that day, though the main purpose of our trip was frustrated.  She  said ‘ when you had expressed a desire that all of us should pay our respects to Sree kaakkalur Anjaneyar, you should have fulfilled it within a reasonable time.  The temple  is not far away from our residence.  See what He has done. He managed to drag us to his shrine on an entirely different pretext, though the visit is fully satisfying.’  She used to recount our visits to various temples accurately as though the pictures were vivid in her memory, which did not fail her till her death near about her ninetieth year. It is quite likely that I might have left out some visits to Tirupathi, probably because they were not particularly eventful. I would like to conclude my narrative “temporarily” as I am sure the lord will call me again and give me the pleasure of his darsanam sooner or later. *****

I am of course, wondering about two coincidences. First,  that this episode about visit to kaakkalur is the last one in this narrative, though sequentially, it should have come much earlier.   It is our custom in any worship of Sree Raama or  Lord Vishnu’s incarnations, to have worship of Sree Anjaneya at the conclusion. The incident has therefore, taken its proper place, though due to my oversight.  Secondly, the other visits were mostly in fulfillment of vows taken when we faced difficulties. They were taken a little more seriously than the visit to kaakkalur, which was due to a desire to take my mother to worship the Deity. Succession of problems, both domestic and official as well as living on a shoe-string budget for years, must have made me postpone this visit to be made during  “better times”. The incident too slipped out of my mind, though I could remember every detail of our visits to the Lord of the Seven Hills. May the Lord forgive us!!!

      I dedicate this narrative to the memory of my beloved friend, P.C.Gopalan, who held the post of Senior Manager in Life Insurance Corporation of India. Serving  as a link between me and the Lord of Seven Hills,  he helped me out of many a ticklish problem.His  sweet smile and utterance of “Sreenivaasa” in a clear and ringing voice were always re-assuring and rejuvenating my depressed spirit .  

            Glory be to the Gods and Goddesses and great souls who guide and help us always!!! 

*****Post Script:    I have mentioned that Vichu desired to visit the Tirupathi shrine.   The Lord took him there  in 1997 along with his college friends. I visited the Lord  about five  times between 1997 and 2012, alone, thrice, once with Madan and once with My wife and Madan.  My last visit was with Brahmasree Sathyavaageeswara Ghanapaadigal, who was honoured at the sanctum on his retirement from service as Temple Vedapaaraayana Ghanapaadigal.    It was  exclusively  for Brahmasree  Ghanapaadigal, when only he  and his family were inside the temple.
 I would like to visit again as I have one more vow to fulfill. THE GRACIOUS Lord WILL CERTAINLY TAKE ME IN ALL SPLENDOUR!!!